“Dude, I so am in love with Gymshark right now.”
Kelly pulled up into my Jeep outside Boston University saying this. We had not seen each other for maybe five months, and for some reason I was not even surprised about her drastic change every time we see each other, to grab food, have a photoshoot, travel, or simply catch up.
This is one-of-a-kind friendship I have with this wizard girl.
Fancy brunch lover, future computer engineer, college kid, go-getter, gym clothes fanatic, “philosophical”, and model, from China to Back Bay. This is Kelly.
We met on social media back in 2018 when she was a freshmen at BU. “You work out?” was our first conversation. What we used to do was not conventional, but acceptable. Riding bikes on Charles River, eating at the university dining hall using her meal swipe, work out…
“Photoshoot?”
Very impromptu proposal, but why not?
This was Kelly back then in June 2019.
Fresh, innocent, elegant, a lil naughty and defiant…whatever you call it, a typical Boston girl in the Commons.
Honestly could not believe those were my shots. But yeah, life happens one photo at a time. Obviously many photos have been taken before we would meet again.
“Take some black and white shots. I have a thing for them.”
What Kelly did not mention was also how much obsessed she was with side shots, or “turn my head around as if I am calling you right now” shots. Kelly was a particular needy subject and has specific requirements of the outcomes, but she also was open to trying new things.
This is her personality, as I would later find out.
It also turned out that she was right about how she looked good in monochrome photos.
“You always look pissed.”
“Ya I know. That’s just me. When I laugh or smile it just ruins everything.”
Pretty adamant. But okay. I can work with that.
More BW shots.
“I do not drown my thoughts and ideas. I let them float.”
It was not until October when Kelly reached out again. She had decided to take a study break. So I picked her up again, to New Hampshire, then to Rhode Island.
I asked her what she meant by saying this.
Sipping coffee, she explained that, “I make decisions for myself. I love, hate, and do things I think should be done. I don’t let nothing suppress them.”
She had changed a whole lot and I knew she wanted to just get out and find some peace. Aside from the Gymshark piece she told me, Kelly remained silent most of the time on the road. What it took for her to get chatty was a warm fire, and a smore.
“Sam. Take photos. But no make up, no outfit, just me and whatever is in my picture.”
For three days she did just that. It was like unlimited access to her life. Nothing posed, nothing scripted. Just life.
How casual? Just chilling on the steps of RI State Capitol and sketching. Not a word.
“Have I told you how disappointed the guys in Engineering School be? Like just deadass disappointed, periodt.”
“What is it that
people want?”
Good question.
“Also why are we still wandering out here?”
Well, I guess we could eat. But when we sat down to answer that question, I began to discover what truly lies beneath Kelly’s heart.
For some reason we began to discuss fear, motivation, and personality as a whole while enjoying some simple wheat pasta with red sauce. It was a deep conversation-deeper than the fried meatballs. But Kelly enjoyed it, she became vulnerable.
“It is important to conquer my fears,” Said Kelly, “The fear that my loved ones misunderstand me, the fear that I do not know what I want sometimes.” There were tears running down her cheeks, reflecting the candle light. No one in this crowded restaurant noticed.
“Have you heard about Restorative Practice?” I said, “It is about naming your emotions, and navigating your fear and shame.”
“Let’s have some dessert.”
“You know about this scarf?”
Kelly’s scarf, on top of her BU hoodie and Mojito, has another story. The scarf has Chinese characters “Pu Ha Ha” on it, when trranslated, simply meaning “LOLOL”. She wanted this scarf to just sweep any negative emotions by LOLing the shit out of them.
Man, these drinks really got sister out here talking smack.
This is what made Kelly unique. Her willingness to ask, to change, to challenge.
And her grumpiness and emotions, when she is hungry.
This is how Kelly operates. Look, think, and do.
She had also attempted to recommend me some bad podcasts so I would not trust that from her.
This was last October.
When we connected again in June because I wanted to write this blog, I learned she had dyed her hair gold, just like the leaves in the background. Kelly also self claimed to have changed her style.
Only another photoshoot will I find out, I guess.
Kelly is a character, why not give her a follow on Instagram?
Sam Yang, sammydepth photography,
July 7, 2020, Burlington, VT